Random links, jokes and quotes I StumbledUpon

Oh man.... another vice to keep me glued to the computer: Stumble Upon! One of those things I've neglected up til now because ya gotta attach it to your toolbar, but hey, it's the ultimate way to surf the Internet. I'd actually forgotten about 'websites' - I spend most of my time blog jumping nowadays. I like the interactivity of blogs, whereas websites seem like cold lonely places. I'm sick at home stumbling around the Net - here's a compilation of stuff I found, it'll save you some time. You can thank me later.

Church Jokes:

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?".The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron.".

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

Agnostic Quotes:

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Fun Religion Links:

You'll also find these in the link list on the sidebar

Jesus vs. Jeezus - Look at Jesus then compared to now. My, how he's grown!

Fundingo - It's fundy, it's Bingo... it's fundingo! Print it off and keep it handy whenever you read or participate in an online-debate with a fundy. Cross off the fallacies, dodgy reasoning and personal attacks as they appear. Score one point for each box crossed out, and ten points if you make a line of four vertically or horizontally.

The God Simulator - Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be God? Here’s your chance to find out. This simulation puts you in the place of God. As God, you are both omnipotent and omniscient. You have the power to do or create anything. No problem is insurmountable for you.

Godchecker - We have more Gods than you can shake a stick at. Godchecker's Mythology Encyclopedia currently features over 2,850 deities.

After? - Comic strip about a boy who dies and has a conversation with God.

Which Circle? - This comic strip series is a great. It portrays the irrelevance and hypocrisy prevalent in the Christian world.

Moral Compass! Spin the compass and check out with religion's morality suits you. I think Universalism wins.

Skeptics Report - Things creationists hate

Cult construction kit - Simply select the beliefs that are most advantageous to you and ‘The Cult Construction Set’ will generate actual Bible scriptures to support these beliefs. Now you too can start your own Cult in the comfort of your home!

How to tell if you're a fundamentalist - multiple-choice questions

Can't dance? Now you can! - This is just cute!

DETOX - The religious recovery webzine, because religion is ridiculous.

hypothetical script - "I want to be with my wife in Hell"

Real Life Sea Monsters - 24 Bizarre Creatures of the Deep - If a god did design these things, I'd worry. Speaking of sea monsters consider the following story:

Giant Squid - For some years, some biologists have argued that there was a 7th day of creation, during which God thought about his prototypes and finally made the crowning glory of his creation here on Earth: the giant squid.

The world was created as a habitat for the giant squid. Humans were put here to control the large predators that would otherwise bother the giant squid. We are programmed to ignore the giant squid, and to not take actions that would harm them.

3 comments:

Eek said...

My own cult huh? Hmm. Interesting.

*gets busy cult constructing*

Eek said...

And btw... fundingo?

Strangely enough arguing with fundys on the net is not something I tend to engage in.

It's called having "better things to do".

Katt said...

Are there any jokes about the GIANT SQUID ?