If YOU were God, what would you write in the Bible?

From contributor Gordonliv:

Hey, here's a thought...

Suppose you yourself were God.

You'd created a universe, a few billion stars, some solar systems, time, distance and all...

Then on one of your planets (or - who knows? - maybe more than one!) you decide to create some intelligent, rational creatures who have big brains and control and dominion over the land they occupy. They're so intelligent that they can talk to you... and you to them. So you decide to give them an instruction book.

What would you write in that instruction book?

In my Bible - as Creator Of All Things - I'd give my intelligent, questioning, supplicant creations a lesson in physics.

I'd explain gravity... how it keeps the solar system in equilibrium (at least for the time being). I'd explain nuclear fusion... how it keeps the Sun burning (again, at least for the time being). I'd also explain why I'd created Black Holes and Dark Matter, beacuase those ideas really would puzzle my intelligent creations. A nice, clear, unambiguous explanation would be in order.

I might also tell my little loved creations where else I'd created lfe in the Cosmos. I wouldn't leave it to them to figure it out over millenia... I'd give them some really helpful pointers. I'd say, "Look over here... there's some other fellas! They look a bit different and smell funny, but they'd LOVE to talk to you!"

And I'd say in my instruction book to my my beloved Earthlings, "I love you all so much. You're all so special to me. I won't do anything nasty to you like create any pathogenic bacteria or HIV/AIDS; I won't let you fight or starve. I'll just provide for you... as if you were my little pets!" That's what - among many other things - I'd write in my insruction book.

Feel free to comment here or at the forum (comments here may be copied to @ www.aimoo.com/antichurch)


Eek said...



Cept i might set in motion the occasional flood or two just for fun. Whenever I was in a bad mood.

Don't they say that watching other people suffer makes you feel better about your own stress/crap/shitty life?

BT Murtagh said...

Never mind the explanations, the commandments are where the money's at. Something along these lines:

1) Thou shalt gather data as objectively as possible.
2) Thou shalt keep thy data in archives, and share thy archived data with one another.
3) Thou shalt devise falsifiable hypotheses to assign possible causes to thy correlations.
4) Thou shalt test thy hypotheses against the data, nor shalt thou accept any hypothesis which the data contradicts.
5) Thou shalt design experiments to further test hypotheses, and treat the results as data also.
6) Thou shalt examine one another's research and experimental techniques with caution and polite skepticism.
7) Thou shalt reproduce each other's research whenever possible to verify its truth, nor shall thee accept as factual any result which thou canst not reproduce.
8) Thou shalt continuously refine thy understanding of the universe as thy Lord hath commanded thee.
9) Thou shalt be excellent to one another.
10) Thou shalt party on.

Of course, if I were a deity I'd have time to refine these a bit and word them better!