People always end up the way they started out.

No one ever changes.
They think they do but they don't.
"Whatever you are now, you will always will be. If you are the depressed type now that's all that you'll ever be. If you're the mindess happy type, that's the way you'll be when you grow up... You may lose some weight, your face may clear up, get a body tan, a breast enlargement, sex change, makes no difference. from in front; from behind; whether you're 13 or 50 - you'll always be the same." - Palindrom (movie)
Interesting quote from this quirky movie. It mirrors what I've been thinking. That essentially you'll be you. I've never seen anyone change and I've never been able to change myself. I think many women hope that their man will change or that they can change them. Sure, we learn and adapt after making mistakes (once a cheater, always a cheater? not so) but you'll revert to what you fundamentally were.

Many christians believe that they change completely after they are 'born again'. I didn't, and I never noticed anyone around me change their inherent behaviours either. I've never seen it. People don't change! But I'm sure there are some exceptions. My parents are the same sad weirdos they were 20 years ago. So are all my brothers and sisters! (not weird or sad though - mostly) I think some people may change their values and stuff after seeing how fresh it is to follow bible principles, but if you're a selfish bum... you'll probably become a selfish christian bum.

Tellin it like I think it is


Anonymous said...

people misinterpret a changed outlook as being a changed personality. those who have been 'born again' might see things in a different light but they are still intrinsically the same person - they have not changed, but their perception has. this in itself can lead to a person changing, eg. when you start to see the world as a happier place, you will likely become a happier person; conversely when you start to see the world as an evil place and everyone in it as the enemy, you will likely become a manic fundamentalist.

I think you've touched on this but finding religion can sometimes merely be replacing one addiction/obsession with another - in which case can a person really say they have changed, or have they just swapped intense alcoholism for intense christianity? unless you deal with the underlying cause you'll just apply the same behaviours to the new situation.

cultish groups tend to attract people with low self-esteem, so does the act of desperately wanting to be better/smarter/kinder/happier become self-fulfilling once you are being told by so many people that you are these things? although my friend's little brother went to the prayer line when he'd just turned five and asked if he could be six by Christmas. needless to say this particular prayer was not answered.

any immediate or dramatic change is in my experience a temporary 'spike' in endorphins which comes from the love-bombing & feeling of having done 'the right thing' when you join a born-again congregation. I do know people that have changed for the better, but it was a gradual process and I suspect they were always good people who just didn't have the self-worth to believe it - the difference is that they now do.

sorry I've almost started a blog of my own... well you did ask for comments :)

mothpete said...

Thanks for the comment misswooty, but it was longer than the actual post which leaves me feeling a bit inadequate and insecure... sigh... I know I'll never change.

So I wonder what that does to the hive when most of the worker bees within it have low self-esteem? I suppose it generates more dependancy on the systema and makes it harder for them to get their honey somewhere else (see this analogy habit of mine is from years of doing kitchy 'talks').

Anonymous said...

very sorry about that, I just don't know when to shut up. would it help if I left a brief stupid comment on one of your longer posts?

I like bees.

Anonymous said...

i believe in a lot of ways you are both right. Religion has since it's inception been plagued with humanity. I agree with both previous posts, people seek a god or create a god that will minister to their most base desires to feel accepted and have someone to listen to them. Then a few things unusual things happen in their lives, and BINGO!, you got yourself a full blown diety on your hands.

I believe that as you move about this warm cosmic bath called is just to perfect to be so beautiful. When was the last time you through crap together from your fridge and it tasted wonderful. I doubt it. Or when was the last time you pile some junk without even thinking about it and called it...pleasing to the eye. It's actually called a hamper.

Anyway...I believe that God did create the universe. I believe he put the sun just the right temperature, just the right distance from the Earth...he made our temperature at just the right heat, and he put just the right mix of water and other chemicals in our blood so that it can sustain life. That's beautiful.

I also believe that we are corrupt people that have a desire to be accepted. We long for living a life approved of ourselves, and/or of others. We live a paradoxed life. We are never completely satisfied with ourselves, and we long for approval (either from others or from ourselves).

Enter Jesus...He accepts us as we are because he knows we can never be more that what we've always been, and still he rewards us with a divine relationship with the Creator, for His good pleasure.

He showers us with His grace and kindness and goodness and reveals to us the beauty of His love in spite of our inadequacy, or superiority. If we believe He is that good to us, and allow Him by His Spirit and Words of Truth to guide our life, even in all our stumbling we can have confidence that Jesus is still in control and still is our biggest cheerleader. He's the headcoach wanting to put us in the game...and never getting frustrated with our fumbles, and never letting us rest on our last touchdown, always inspiring a deeper relationship with Him.

A life with God through Jesus is not about us feeling better or worse. It's about God having a relationship with his creation founded on what He initially intended....LOVE. His love for us, and our love for him, expressed by our loves towards others.

God bless you

sagerjustin said...


mothpete said...

What did I mean by 'people don't change?' - I think I covered this quite well in the post.

People DO change. I changed into my work clothes this morning, for instance.

Take the CAPS lock off and settle down, I'm not emailing you because if you can't get the gist of what I'm saying here then I doubt I'm gonna waste time with mindless word ping pong with you. Why on earth would you appreciate it? People don't change, superficially yes, but not they themselves.

Take care and have a chill pill.