Tabloid Hell

Those who claim that no one takes the supermarket tabloids seriously should speak to the folk of Starkfield, North Dakota. According to the Grand Forks Herald,

After a supermarket tabloid printed a story about a tunnel in a farm field near Starkweather, N.D., that leads to hell, the locals were amused. But their good humor soon diminished. Dealing with the influx of people searching for the hell hole quickly grew tiresome for the residents.

The article, which appeared in the Weekly World News, reported that a farmer clearing an abandoned field uncovered a stinking pit brimming with bones. Excavation revealed a spiraling staircase that appeared to wind down infinitely into the earth. The article further stated that local scientists walked 300 feet down the staircase and entered "another dimension." The governor then reportedly approved the use of a 12-man strike force including Vatican exorcists to descend into the hell hole to destroy Satan.

"Why us?" asked one of the frustrated residents. "Now I understand why celebrities get so upset with those tabloids. I never realized the power of those things."


31% of Americans say that Hell exists as an actual location, "a place of physical torment." 30% believe that Satan is "a living being."

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