The truth about atheism exposed

This must be a parody website. It has to be... because it's bloody funny.

The truth about Atheism exposed

There is a group at large in society that hates God. A group that denies the truth about His son Jesus Christ, Our Savior. A group that spits on the American dream. People who don’t care if you live or die. They don’t even feel anything for their own mothers! They are disgusting, immoral and hateful. They are the Atheists.

An atheist
A typical Atheist. Look at his stupid hat! And the way he hides his eyes from God’s light.

But who are these Atheists who are more dangerous than the members of the bomb-crazy America-hating Muslim faith and, crucially, what do they believe? How can you spot one? What is the history of this mad un-belief system? And what should you do if you are unlucky enough to come across one? Tristan Shuddery’s expose of ‘Atheist Troublemakers’ recently on STR.com has made imperative that these questions are answered.

1) They will do anything and stop at nothing:

Perhaps the most terrifying thing about Atheists is that they don’t have what scientists call a “moral compass”. They don’t have any values. They basically don’t know the difference between right and wrong. How could they? They don’t have a God to guide them. “Where do you think American lawmakers got the idea that we shouldn’t murder, steal or rape? Answer: the Bible. If you athiests had your way, the nation would be a bloodbath like Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia. Both fascism and communism are based on Athiesm.”

2) Following on from point one there are two basic corollaries:

a) Because Atheists have no values they see things such as pedophilia as being quite ok. That’s why, for instance, they fill up the internet with their vile porn filth and they are always at the forefront of the pro-abortion (ie, anti-life!) lobby. After all, why should they care.

b) Most criminals are atheists, or, conversely, most atheists (ie all of them!) are criminals (they just haven’t all been caught yet).

Jesus wept!


Atheists make Our Lord Jesus cry. Please stop it, Atheist renegades!

3) Atheists do not worship Satan.

By denying God they, of course, take on the Devil and will join him in hell, but Atheists claim that they do not even believe in the Devil. They believe in nothing!

4) It’s not true that no one really is an Atheist.

Some good Christians believe that Atheists are just “pretending” to deny Jesus and making a stance to be somehow “controversial” like rebellious teenagers. Sadly, this isn’t true. Their brains have been so twisted and bent out of shape by Liberal propoganda and drug abuse that they have genuinely convinced themselves out of the self-evident truth of a Christian God.

5) Atheists think they’re cleverer than you.

One of the most annoying things about Atheists is that their mad lack of belief actually makes them feel somehow superior to real Christians. Rejecting decent honest faith and belief they use things like a reliance on “scientific methodology”, “reasoned argument”, “historical evidence”, “documentary proof” and “logic” to baffle and confuse. Instead of accepting the obvious reality that the Bible is God’s word, they try to claim that the Gospels were written hundreds of years after the death of Jesus, that there were hundreds of other similar books rejected by committee at something called the council of Nicea and that most of the New Testament was compiled out of political expediency. They say that many of the Jesus stories existed long before Jesus was said to have been alive and that most of his sayings and parables aren’t that impressive anyway. They are wrong.

Bible
The Bible. The guidebook for American life and wholly holy. Why won’t atheists accept this?

6) Atheists hate Christians and Christianity. They are jealous because they know that we are going to heaven. They want to destroy us and everything we stand for. They want to forbid Christianity, raise taxes and disband our armies.

7) Atheists are nearly all druggists. Far from the warm love of God, believing that they are spinning round on a cold rock in the middle of an empty universe and thinking that they will never see their favorite family pets again in heaven (which of course they won’t since they’re going to hell! Sorry atheists!), atheists wrap themselves up in what they see as a comforting narcotic embrace. They smoke jazz-cigarrettes, inject themselves with heroin and manufacture crystal-meth in their kitchens. Their brains and bodies are ruined.

Meth lady

A crystal meth user. Is she an Atheist? I wouldn’t be surprised.

9) Atheists don’t know anything about Christianity. How could they? If they did, they’d worship God instead of spending their whole time off their faces on illegal drugs, protesting about just wars and making trouble.

10) Atheists lives are cold and empty. Atheists have no appreciation for anything. Period. Because they do not believe in God and have no sense of awe, Atheists can not understand beauty or anything wonderful. To them a rainbow is just a coincidence of light particles seen through water vapor rather than a miracle. Art is meaningless to them and music is just a series of different pressure effects upon the ear drum; that’s why their music (rock, hip hop and something called techno) is so bad.

They love nobody. Nobody loves them. They are depressed and nihilistic, believing that after death there is nothing for them. Then they die and go to hell. It’s awful. Do you want to be an Atheist? Me neither.

1 comment:

Nxia said...

First, I too, knew this was a joke. It's a hilarious spoof. Then the horrible realisation slowly dawned that actually, they were serious. Now I'm back to smiling, but rather nervously. Er, they ARE joking, aren't they?

I must say that I too am shocked to hear that these dastardly atheists go about relying on such things as scientific methodology and documentary proof. Why are they still at large?

Okay. Please. They have to be joking. The thing about Fluffy must, it must be in jest. No. Please.

I think the fact that the spoof-icity of this nonsense is in question is probably the most effective argument there is against religious belief.