Dad lights up his pipe and starts talking about nocturnal emissions.Link (Via Sound Scavengers)
DAD: One of these nights before too long you may find some of it (semen) passes off in your sleep . . .
BOB: (worriedly) But Dad, that's wrong, isn't it?
DAD: No, son, it's not wrong . . . No, it's true that to waste the seed deliberately - to do anything knowingly to make it come is a very grave sin. Because God designed that secretion in a man for one purpose. That is to be, well, like one of his raw materials in the creation of a new life . . . Wet dreams are different. Sometimes the supply of semen becomes too great before a man is married and these dreams are sort of a safety valve . . .
BOB: But Dad, why do fellas get these feelings before they get married?
Dad responds with a metaphor popular in the softcore films of Zalmon King. That is to say that God made sex as necessary as food for survival. Dad adds that sometimes this procreative desire inconveniently appears before the wedding vows are taken and the bloodtests are registered with the county seat.
UPDATE David sez: " Here are four mp3's from the Sex Instruction LP that you recently wrote about.
Girls and MenstruationThe Problem with Growing Boys (which you quoted)
I'm way too scared to even listen to the mp3s.
I can't decide if its funny enough to overcome the fear factor... or just too plain creepy for me.
Odd mixture of feelings lol.
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