But Bible contradictions are so much FUN!

From the Anti-Church forum

And there are so many of them! Like Evans says, the more "bollocks" there is contained in the scriptures, the more faith is needed to believe in them. Why don't we atheists (I don't necessarily include you in that number, Franknhonest) just continue pointing these delicious contradictions out to the Christians and watching them squirm and tie themselves up in knots as they try to resolve them ("Oh, St. Paul was speaking figuratively"), while hoping that a few Christians will see the ludicrousness of the position they adopt and abandon their love affair with the Bible?

And anyway, if the Bible is supposed to be God's word to us here on Earth... what a crap God! Is that the best he can come up with? Why doesn't he tell us about the laws of physics? About how he created everything? About what Jupiter's there for? About why we have four fingers when three would do? About the risks of global warming?

And more to the point, why does he use up his holy book telling us about how it's OK to make an adulterous woman drink poison, or for a man to eat his own poo, or how he c0cked up Creation so badly that he had to wipe out the entire population (only on this planet, of course) and start again? (That's a bit of an admission, isn't it?) Why is he so troubled about mixing fibres in cloth? Why does he like slavery? Why is he so keen on killing people? What's wrong with cutting your temple hair? Why can't I admire my neighbour's ass? (I do, as it happens... she's got a rather gorgeous one! Oh, well... Hell for me, I guess!) Get your act together, God. It's time for a re-write!

More fun contradictions to unravel:

Matthew says, (1: 16) "That Joseph was the son of Jacob."
Luke says, (3: 23) "That Joseph was the son of Heli." Who is correct?

Was the Last Supper a Passover Seder, see Matt 26: 17-20, Mark 14: 12, Luke 22:7, or rather the Day of Preparation for the Passover as in John 19: 14.

Was Abiathar the High Priest when David ate the Consecrated bread as Jesus claimed? In Mark 2: 25-26. Where as the Tanach (O. T.) shows in 1 Sam.21: 1, that the High Priest at the time was Ahimelech..

In John 10: 30 "I and My Father are one." Does this mean what it says or is there another way of looking at it? John. 17: 21-22, "That they all may be one, as, You, Father, are in me, and I in you; that they also may be one in us, that the world may believe that You sent me. And the glory which You gave me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one."

This suggests to me that Jesus and GOD are not literally one, but that he (Jesus) suggested that he and God were in one accord.

CAN GOD BE TEMPTED BY EVIL? Hebrew.2:18. "For in that he himself (Jesus) has suffered, being tempted, he is able to aid those who are tempted."

James 1:13 says, "Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted by God; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone."

If Jesus is God, and God cannot be tempted by evil , then why was Jesus tempted by the devil?

In the King James version. Acts 12: 4, uses the word "easter" (this word has pagan origin) instead of the original word "passover."

In the same version in 1 John 5: 7, "For there are three that bear witness in heaven;the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit, and these three are one, and there are three that bear witness on earth; the Spirit, the water, and the blood, and these three agree as one."

The bold type underlined words of this text, were probably added by the Editors of the Latin Vulgate in the fourth century. c.e. They are not found in earlier manuscripts, prior to the Latin Vulgate. Other translations have omitted the above, with the exception of New King James.

What about peace? John 14:27. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I bring unto you." But in Matt.10:34. "Think not that that I have come to send peace on earth, I come not to send peace but a sword."

Did Paul's men hear a voice? Acts 9:7. "And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man." Where as in Acts 22:9. "And that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid but they heard not the voice of him that spoke to me."

Did Michal have children? 11 Sam. 6:23. "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." Where as 11 Sam. 21:8. " But the kings took the 2 sons of Rizpah, and the 5 sons of Michal the daughter of Saul." May we ask. What is "Truth.?"


Anonymous said...

For the sake of argument, let me play the Bible believer and attempt to solve some of these contradictions mentioned by Andy:

1. Genealogy of Jesus. One line is through Joseph, the other through Mary, and they share some ancestors in common.

2. Passover or Day of Preparation? I came across an explanation on the internet, but can't remember it! Oh well...

3. Can't think of one for this (high priest during time of David)... any takers?

4. Maybe not convincing from these verses, but see John 8 v 58: "before Abraham was, I AM".

5. Temptation issue - still thinking...

6. Easter and Passover refer to different times and events. Easter was a Roman festival. Passover a Jewish feast.

7. Yes, 1 John 5 v 7 is a later addition to scripture.

8. Peace: inner peace for the disciples, despite the tension between them and unbelievers.

9. Saw the light but not the man. Heard the voice but not the words (second is a bit more of a stretch...)

10. No children from that point on, or no children at all? Could it be the former?

Many contradictions can be resolved, although there are some that can't. I prefer to focus on the character of God portrayed by the Bible, rather than contradictions.

Eek said...

Sure Frank, the important thing to do is focus on the message ie. the "character of God".

But... here's the thing that gets me... if the Bible is full of contradictions how can it be inspired of god?

Does that not make it man's word as opposed to god's word?

And if thats the case... why do people knowingly follow it, sometimes religiously (pun I know lol)?

How can you have faith in something when you don't believe its coming from the source you want to believe in? *lost*

I guess thats why they call it blind faith.

"I want to believe in this dammit, so I'm going to... it makes me feel all goody and nicey inside."