FUCK

"I have my own God, and I think my God finds me incredibly fucking funny. That's why I chose him as my God ... "..........Dennis Miller

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I spent 17 years too Christian to allow myself to verbalise various words. I'd speak in tongues for hours, verbalising tonnes of absolutely fucking ridiculous phonems, but to say shit, fuck or kont, was blasphemous. Frank at 'The War on Faith' claims to have the largest collection of atheist jokes and therefore I welcome him to my link collection and pay homage with the following article that is helping me liberate my 'tongue' from forbidden words.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings - "How the fuck are ya?"

2. Fraud - "I got fucked by the car dealer."

3 - Resignation - "Oh, fuck it!"

4. Trouble - "I guess I'm fucked now."

5. Aggression - "FUCK YOU!"

6. Disgust - "Fuck me."

7. Confusion - "What the fuck.......?"

8. Difficulty - "I don't understand this fucking business!"

9. Despair - "Fucked again..."

10. Pleasure - "I fucking couldn't be happier."

11. Displeasure - "What the fuck is going on here?"

12. Lost - "Where the fuck are we."

13. Disbelief - "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"

14. Retaliation - "Up your fucking ass!"

15. Denial - "I didn't fucking do it."

16. Perplexity - "I know fuck about it."

17. Apathy - "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

18. Greetings - "How the fuck are ya?"

19. Suspicion - "Who the fuck are you?"

20. Panic - "Let's get the fuck out of here."

21. Directions - "Fuck off."

22. Disbelief - "How the fuck did you do that?"

23. Anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."

24. Telling time- "It's five fucking thirty."

25. Business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

26. Maternalistic - "Motherfucker."

27. Political- "Fuck George Bush!"

28. Lust - "Fuck me, baby!"

29. Dismissal - "Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?"

30. Almost every word in a sentence - "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This made me grin ... which I rarely do ^_^

Oh. Number 18 is a repeat of 1

Arthur_Vandelay said...

"Why don't you suck a fuck?" -- Donnie Darko

James said...

I like the t-shirt out there that says, "Fuck you, you fucking fuck!!"

Funny post. :)

Eek said...

Well... fuck hey.

Anonymous said...

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MothRust said...

Trade?