You can't baptise cats

I still can't believe it when modern churches continue to emulate the symbolic rituals of these ancient times by re-enacting all the overly dramatic little practices. Immersing yourselves under the water to make a big public show of how super-duper they are by following all of Jeebus' commandments. Would people jump off cliffs if he told them to? Yeah probably. This one should also be followed and sadly, often is, when he said, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26). Yep... of course the ancient Oxford dictionary will probably have a good reason why the original words for hate meant something else and black is actually white and yin is quite possibly yang.

Some churches even include regular foot washing in their meetings to make real the analogy of serving your brethren and yadda yadda yadda. And where's the anointing oil? Huh... come on, there's another symbolic gesture that was good enough for Jesus. Is it good enough for you Chris7. 'CAUSE IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS, SO IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU EH? Get your anointing oil out and go slippery sloppery crazy.

The scared bloody literalists are so frightened to miss what they believe is part of the salvation initiation process that they have to install big fibreglass baptismal tanks into their back rooms to accommodate the sin cleansing act... it doesn't even wash the sins away... it just symbolises it. Then they have to drag people into their churches water tanks before they get hit by buses and miss out on an infinity of worship music and golden mansions.

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