God is not mocked (He's in denial?)

Please, for your own sake, stop mocking God and His people. The famous, John Lennon, and Anna Nicole Smith (just to name 2) and many other not so famous, have done so at their own peril. Please don't be included with these unfortunate people.

"Mock" verb: ridicule, deride, insult, jeer, laugh at, parody, scoff, scorn, show contempt, sneer, taunt.

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked, for what ever a man sows, so shall he reap." Galatians 6:7
I found that letter at the Landover Baptist site and it's amazing that I still cower a little bit when I write something funny about Christianity. That's definitely because of my upbringing and I'm also aware of how family members would be shocked to see me lampooning their religions. Truth is there isn't much else I find funnier, so go with it I say.

It's a little like the tingly feeling you get when you go to the mirror and say 'Bloody Mary' three times. You know it's a scary campfire story, but it doesn't stop your imagination from wondering if the Candyman of Bloody Mary will come seeking after your blood. Go to the mirror now... try it. If I had hairs on the back of my neck they'd be raised.

I've seen other people respond to the blasphemy challenge and it seems therapeutic to me. Perhaps it's my internal way of saying, "C'mon God, if you are real, then punish me for promoting the idea that you don't actually exist." God is not mocked?.. the bible says... well, that's not true - he's mocked all the time. So I challenge him to make me bald. I think baldness suits a lot of people, but it wouldn't me, so there... he can strike me with that, 'cause we all know anyway that God hates barbers and I'll have less reason to see them.

So... if God is not mocked actually means there'll be a mummy's curse on my ass for taunting him then I'm in for some bad mojo or karma? Well, bring it on. I don't think there's anything to fear though - really. You see I've reasoned his existance with the brain and intellect he would have given me to do so. I spent 33 years studying and following his Bible as best I could (I thought I'd at least give it a go for the same amout of time Jesus supposedly lived for) and I decided, "Nup, this smells stranger than rotten platypus eggs".

I can't get done in for wilfull ignorance because I gave it a good hot go and I weighed up the pros and cons as best I could with the information available to me, and processed it as best I could with the only grey matter I had in me.

If perchance there does happen to be a Fairy Godfather tiptoeing through the universe after all and wants to punish me for eternity for not working out the fact that he was actually there... well, I'll just have to take whatever's coming. There won't be any reasoning with a shmuck like that.


Handsome B. Wonderful said...

I'd go for being turned into a pile of salt like the guy who looked back to dare watch God breaking his own laws not to kill. It's very dramatic.

Here goes: I don't believe in God. Hmm, I'm still here. He must be in a charitable mood today.

How come we don't see people being turned into piles of salt these days? That would be cool.

And why is God going to wait until the end of the world to blow everything up and kill the unbelievers? Why not maintain a tidy planet and wipe people out as they "sin?" Like vaporise them.

That way he wouldn't have to let his creation go to shit and be blown up before he has to intervene.

I guess it makes for a grand entrance. What a prima donna.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

And why does God choose the magic of a level two wizard to take people out such as fire and brimstone?? Floods?? Come on God!! You can come up with something better then that can't you???

You'd think since he's supposedly all-knowing and powerful he'd have used a cruise missile.

I mean, surely he knew about them back then--otherwise he'd wouldn't be all-knowing, powerful and seeing and that would take away his Deity Card.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

One more thought: Why salt when salt was easily available in that area?? Wouldn't it be more impressive, awe inspiring and thus convincing of his power to turn her into pepper or nutmeg or maybe cocaine?? Hmmm.