- You see nothing wrong with stating "facts" about what God thinks as if you are His personal secretary.
- Know what "OSAS Theology" is.
- Regulary find yourself discussing the finer points of the Pre-Trib Rapture.
- Make sweeping statements like: "there's more evidence that Jesus existed than there is that Julius Ceaser or Alexander the Great existed!" - Complain about christians not being allowed to practice their religion in foreign countries, yet when someone tries to set up a Hindu temple/Mosque/Pagan or new age bookshop in your town you go ballistic and think it shouldn't be allowed.
- Own a gardening business but refuse to do work on a gay couple's house.
- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.
- You believe the last days are imminent but that doesn't stop you buying more and more property
- Your typical "lay me down to sleep" prayer uses the phrase "Lord Jesus/Lord God" more times than the Bible.
- You swear god and Jesus love absolutely everybody, and yet you rail on in the next minute about how gays, liberals, pagans, and foreigners are going to be condemed to Hell without mercy.
- You believe without every word written in the Bible is infallible truth, you have no doubt we came from dirt and there are talking snakes, and you are more than happy to say Judas died in all of several ways listed in the Bible with a straight face.
- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.
- God regularly opens up convienent parking spaces, JUST FOR YOU.
- You think everyone but those who believe exactly what you believe are going to be burned in hell forever.
- Even if they believe what you believe, if they happen to be gay or more liberal than you, or different from you in some other way, they are still going to be tortured for all of eternity.- You think people who enjoy science fiction and fantasy because they actually have an imagination (unlike you who have suppressed your imagination), especially those who enjoy the Harry Potter novels, are going to be in hell.
- You think that anyone with a brain who actually uses it and realizes that evolution, not creation, was responsible for bringing life to earth is going to be tortured for all of eternity.- You think that being tortured for all of eternity for any reason is an appropriate punishment.
- You can't grasp basic scientific information and go on struggling to fit square pegs into round holes.
1 comment:
love it
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