Dating to Save People from Hell

10 Christian Dating Tips for
Effective Missionary Dating

1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")

7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."

10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

Fellow Hot Girls: You can get these Christian Dating Tips for easy reminder on a mini-poster print!

From Date to Save!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love that #10 is "AFTER you dump him..." not "IF you dump him..."

It's like a tacit admission that she is basically advocating that you whore yourself out to get guys to learn about Christianity, them dumping their asses and moving on once your point has been made.

Intergalactic Hussy said...

And if the guy says how much he loves Jesus, too...that's still not enough?

Good riddance! Who wants to have to start teaching the noob anyway? ;)

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Eek said...

Lol sandrabbw... /blinks

In other news, maybe if I had followed this christian dating advice I wouldnt have so many freakin kids and my life'd be awesomely single with no responsibilities cept to the lord.

I too could be a self obsessed twat!

Tempting.

snakey said...

Huh?

Tamara?

*pulls ferret face*

yeah...right oh


9.

...shouldn't that be 'if he gets angry and won't pull out'.

eh - whatever?

Ranting said...

7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.


Turnoff.