Everyone loves Iron Man apart from these two Christian idiots

Obviously, not all Christians are dickheads, and I know any reasonable religious person loves a good comic book movie. I've got to wait ages for this to come to my backwater cinema, and I already know too much about it. I'm trying to lower my expectations as much as possible so that it will not fail the hype in its wake.

That leads me to reading negative reviews... for fun... check out the following review I found from a Christian movie review site. And if you think that was funny, you should read the reviews on there of Tom Green's 'Freddy Got Fingered'! I couldn't find a review for Debbie Does Dallas anywhere...

The 'Idiot Christian' Iron Man Review:

"My husband and I went to see Iron Man. We left after about 15 to 20 minutes into the film after having heard the Lord's name used as a swear word and having viewed exceptional levels of provocative 'trashy' behavior being modeled at a level such that no matter the potentially redemptive aspects to later be developed in the storyline they could not be sufficient to redeem these opening sequences. Therefore we walked out. (We are pleased to say that the theater manager kindly honored our request to be refunded when we explained our concerns.) Christian viewers, will have to endure sexual fornication, prisoner torture, glorified greed/fame, and revenge (packaged as good vs. evil). "

Oh, and here's the Freddy Got Fingered Review... ya gotta read this (note the fuck word count):

"There was nothing good about this movie and it is perhaps the worst ever made. The whole film is sexually twisted. There is bestial masturbation, support of sexual child abuse, the sexual content was innumerable. This film was also sexually violent. The main character slices up a moose and puts it on his head and then is hit by a semi. He licks a friend's open wound, winks at suicide, about 70 f-words, lots of drinking and smoking, but the worse is yet to come. The main character bites a bloody baby's umbilical cord and then swings the baby around by it splashing blood on everyone in the room. I don’t know how this film got an R rating! This so-called “film”--a man masturbates a live horse AND an elephant, the lead character in the movie has a paralyzed girlfriend that gets off on getting caned in her legs, there are many references to oral sex, and a very graphic scene in which the lead character's father begs for his son to sodomize him (this scene contains nudity--the father's bare behind). It also contains about 57 F-words"

7 comments:

Eek said...

Meh. Ironman's not a real superhero anyway. He's a man-made fake hero with fake gadgets, no real superpowers. What is it Robert Downey Jnr says in the preview? Something about building a superhero, I dunno.

Ironman is a fake, a phoney. Just like batman really.

MothandRust said...

Ya know what? You're banned. You crossed the line. Batman, ya don't mess with.

Hank said...

Bah!

I've always had more respect for Batman, Ironman and The Phantom precisely because it's their morals & brains (and massive vigilantism) that make them heroes, not their 'god-given' powers.

Anyone born invincible with a messiah complex or with superfly mutant powers can be a freakin hero - it takes intelligence and great courage to turn your mortal, fallible human self towards doing good for others. Sure, it might also take a shitload of cash, but that's where the intelligence comes in.

Add a grain of salt to the above, to taste :)

Eek said...

Ban me? Ha.

I'm going to see Ironman today actually, cos I quite like fakes and phonies tbh. What about you? Oh wait... thats right... you live where exactly? In the middle of where? Aww diddums.

I'll make sure to come and leave a complete plot synopsis here asap - twists and turns included, assuming there are any to speak of. You know, just to help you out since you won't get to see the man of iron'ness for AGES.

Brittany said...

I think it's HILARIOUS when Christian types go to see movies that are obviously going to be offensive to their Puritanical sensibilities and then are incensed when the movie does, in fact, offend their Puritanical sensibilities. Next time, watch the trailer before going to the movie. You'll likely know within 10 seconds if this is going to be a 'godly' movie or not.

jj stone said...

i think the batman/ ironman types are far more "heroic" than the super human kind. it takes balls for ironman and batman to go out there and kick ass theyre still mortal, they over come theyre mortality and limitations through inteligence and hard work. lets take the king of "super heroes" superman. blah what a coward what a wimp,hes not brave. what kind of bravery does it take to take on bad guys when your invincible?!

MothRust said...

Superman could easily be just cruisin for sex all the time. He doesn't have to help out. Most of the time he's given HUGE adversaries and enormous potential city wide catastrophes to avert.

But yeah, Batman is THE Man!