Jesus is coming back, and this time, it's personal.

I've been picking on Jesus a bit lately. I'm sure he can take it but I'll give him a rest for a while. He'll be back. At least, that's what he keeps saying...

Layguy (a Christian blogger) is tired of all the petty little "Jesus loves you" glitter things posted on his page. He goes onto say:

Don’t these people understand that when Jesus returns, He will have the blood of His enemies dripping off His robe? That the armies of Heaven will be following Him? That the wine-press of God’s wrath is about to go into overdrive and He is appointed to lead this?

Christians find it very easy to love the idea that Jesus is going to wreak havoc and mayham when he comes 'back'. He'll finally whoop all the asses of people who didn't buy into their shtick.

Did anyone see that cartoon on The P.R. Christian Broadcasting Network starring Jesus as a Kung Fu expert who wanders the Middle East fighting evil? Titled, "Jesus: Fists of Glory', the cartoon was part of a campaign by Christian fundamentalists to change American perceptions of everyone's favorite Lord and Savior.

"We're very excited about this new direction for Jesus," continued Elson. "Hopefully it will lead a whole new generation of assertive, patriotic Americans to know our Lord and savior, and smash his enemies."

Together the three friends wander the Middle East looking for adventures. "We've kept it consistent with the Bible," Elson insists. "In the cartoon Jesus is in his early twenties, so it's still some years before the events mentioned in the New Testament. There's nothing in the bible that says he wasn't a wandering Kung Fu expert during his twenties."

... Sigh ... I mean, it is 'right' for us to worry about these fundies isn't it? There's plenty of mental Christians out there to justify this much chatting about them... ya think? Oh and Layguy:

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tina FCD said...

Beeeuuutifullll butterfly! :) I love this post!

Anonymous said...

I think moth bainbridge rust is one of those people who wanted to be a somebody in his fellowship, not realizing that to be a somebody you must first be a nobody. 2Pe 2:21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.

TruthNomads (anagram)

Anonymous said...

Hi moth and rust - glad you found my blog. Hope you visit back soon. Dude I am sad to see that after 17 years in the faith, you left it due to unbelief.

Get back to me and tell me about those 17 years - you got me curious.

mothpete said...

Aww truthnomad you love my website you naughty little christian you... and you desperately want my friendship or at least acknowledgement. I can spare you that. I was a houseleader at our favourite church, actually... not that it's much to boast. All you have to do is nod a lot and preach tongues-for-salvation without thinking logically. Even you might be an 'oversight' there one day. Me, been there done it.

mothpete said...

Don't be sad layguy, chin up old boy.

I didn't leave my church due to unbelief though, I certainly disbelieved their doctrine. Was purty stupid. I think I left churchdom altogether because I couldn't believe the people anymore. sheeeshh. people!

I'm enjoying the 'fellowship' of the unchurched much better. That's with the contrast of church life behind me.

Thanks for posting and I hope you don't mind me quoting you here.


BT Murtagh said...

That butterfly reminds me of the Lunesta sleeping aid advertisement. Am I the only one creeped out by that?

This huge glowing green bug hovers directly over those people's faces, they stare blankly for a moment. then they sink into a deathlike trance... (shudder)

It's like one of those Cold War Era science fiction movies.

tina FCD said...

What's so wrong with leaving a church, people do it all the time, just a lot more seem to be doing it.:)

Anonymous said...

Just a note: I think the "Fists of Glory" thing is a spoof, as in, CBN is not really doing this.

other headlines on the Brainsnap website include:

# Olympic Mascots Save Stadium From Giant Phoenix
# Guantanamo Bay To Be Moved To Bermuda Triangle
# The Credible Hulk: Uninspired But Believable

Granted, many of the spoofs are _very_ close to what actual self-professed 'Christians' believe and do! See:

Nephilim Stargates : The Year 2012 and the Return of the Watchers (Anomalos Publishing, 2007)

That's a real book. It claims that scientists are going to revive the Biblical 'Giants' of Genesis...