Dennis Quaid has joined the cast of LEGION. Tyrese Gibson, Charles S. Dutton, Lucas Black, and Paul Bettany will also star in this tired old storyline where Mankind's only hope rests with a group of strangers who must deliver a baby they realize is Christ in his second coming. This is after God loses faith in humanity, not learning his lesson after drowning everyone in the Noah incident, and then again with Evan Almighty.
Demi Moore did this crap... Arnie did this crap... Keanu Reeves... Walken etc. The sometimes self-titled geeky talkbackers at Aintitcool had this to say - (I love religious commentry with pop-cultural referencing):
* If God existed, how would an angel and a bunch of humans be any match for him? He's GOD! And, don't you think God be aware that Jesus was coming back, since God has to magically fuck a virgin to produce a messiah? Granted, this isn't any more unbelievable than the shit that's in the bible, but come on - he's GOD! They can't win this one.
* Jesus as a baby in the Second Coming? This is silly. You might as well portray God as a man in a blue and red tight with cape.
* Oh, God loses faith in humanity, huh? Since when is God a temporal creature? He's omnipresent, and that includes the temporal sphere. He can't just decide on March 10th to lose faith in humanity, if he loses faith, he would lose it at all points in time past and future -- and the effect would be the same as if he never had faith in the first place. And if you don't think this means we can tie in TimeCop somehow, well, you're just not paying attention.
* The only thing that will save this film is Kirk Cameron. This movie needs a healthy dose of crazy dead eye. I always thought that Cameron was just a harmless psychopath, but it turns out he accused the writers on Growing Pains, the most morality laden TV show, of being child pornographers for breaching the subject of teen sex. What a douche.
* Yeah well people don't really think which is why they follow religions and believe in stupid shit like the devil even though god is all powerful, the devil will try to overtake god, how? God is God, but it's in the bible and people believe it. Religious people lack imagination. Fuck it. When Geoff Johns can make a badass apocalypse sound cooler in 2 pages than the revelations you know the religion is shit.
* Whenever I hear crazy christians talk about the revelations and all that will happen I just tell them that I doubt if there is someone with omnipotent power he would make such a boring uninspired Apocalypse. End of Earth. boring. I want to see the end of the Multiverse at the hands of the Anti Monitor. Instead of earth threatened by beasts, have reality threatened by a psychotic superboy.
* I once asked an Evangelical why God would send an upstanding an moral unbeliever to Hell just because that unbeliever didn't believe in him. I mean, isn't that a little petty for the creator of the Universe? Guess what the answer was? It is because God, even though he may love the unbeliever, cannot stand to be in the presence of someone who doesn't believe in him. But this is an omnipotent creature, right? Yet somehow belief is his kryptonite? God's powers are less consistent than Superman's.
* Unfortunately they won't give this a downer ending. We need a movie where there's no glimmer of hope at the end. Humanity ends. Period. No miracle cures, no virgin births, no iMac uploaded computer viruses, no shuttle pilots flying into cracks with warheads, no Polish astronauts planning a nighttime landing on the sun with nukes, no drilling to the earth's core in a ship made of an indestructibe metal called CanYouBelieveThisBullshitium. None of it. Just humanity wiped clean from the face of the earth by the invisible Jewish carpenter in the sky.
* BTW - for those few who might not know - the "Legion" bit refers to Jesus finds a possessed guy and asks the demon what its name was. Its response was the rather cryptic "My name is Legion, for we are many" most likely referring to the Roman term for a Division of troops. Jesus then gets rather annoyed with this and sends the Demon into a herd of pigs who run off a cliff. Lovely stuff
3 comments:
Haha - this is so cool!
I was just thinking about how christians are portrayed by the media and here we have a blog topic about a new movie - the Legion. ! Can't wait.
remember that old 1991 movie "Cape Fear" Mothy? With Robert de Nero as the bad guy. Check out this last scene in the movie - he goes down speaking in tongues!
YOu've got to add it to your vast 'tongie' collection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLcwxURMca8 -
or look up "cape fear last scene"
I've never got around to seeing Cape Fear, but always heard the legends of the tongue scene that we were encouraged never to watch. I should rent this out... but thanks for the youtube link, I'll post that to the forum for the idiots to ignore.
Yeah, pop culture... haha... coincidence you mentioned pop culture on your stomping ground... Geeks generally are too busy with their own mythologies to get wrapped up into Xtian mythology... but it's all geek to me.
I learned that sometimes the things your want most,
You just can't have.
Or the drinking,
Or the hook-ups
Taking the chances
And then making the most of them
The things which we most need to talk about
I learned that once you get to college,
Things don't automatically get better
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